Have you seen me?

It all started when Lisa was back in the hospital. It was a relapse of a previous condition that they think might be Crohn's disease. Nothing serious, but she was out of commission a few days. But what does that have to do with pants?

Well, the fuel pump in the van decided to go out about that time, which meant I probably wouldn't be able to go get her in it when they released her. The hospital is actually within walking distance of the house (less than two miles) but that didn't mean I wanted her walking up the hill right away. Brittany was going to walk down and visit her that day, and I had $35 in my wallet, so I gave them to Brittany to take to Lisa in case she needed to get a cab.

She was halfway there when she called Lisa to tell her she lost the money. How do you just lose $35? Not a big loss, but it raised the question of how Lisa was going to get home, since I wouldn't have another opportunity to get money to her before they let her out. We hunted all around the house for it but to no avail. It was just gone. (Don't worry; the hospital paid for a cab. This isn't Portsmouth, you know.)

So that was all about a week ago. On Saint Patrick's Day, we were in Mount Oliver and picked up some Pizza at Maietta's. I was going to walk down to Foodland and look for some holiday libations while Lisa walked back home with the pizza. She had $60 in her pocket when she started out, and none by the time she got home. Now, suddenly, $95 were up in smoke.

But it was my ever-observant mother-in-law who noticed, "Aren't those the same pants that Brittany was wearing when she lost the money?" And so they were. Mystery solved. Shallow front pocket that likes to spit out bills as you walk. There is no way to backtrack through Mount Oliver and recover some dropped cash, even 50 cents, let alone $60. But now we know what pants never to trust money to again.